Q&A with Greg－六星級傷心酒店

I got this off an internet pop-up. It seems a bit cheesy, but, hey, I am Greg's reader. I guess I am happy to share his wisdom with all the sleepless princesses. -Sammy

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Q&A with…Greg Behrendt
By Susan L. Hornik

He’s ba-ack: The man who coined the phrase, “He’s just not that into you” and penned the best-selling book by the same name, is now on TV — hosting The Greg Behrendt Show — and doling out dating wisdom. The paperback edition of his other book, It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken, has just hit the stores, too—but Greg took a few minutes to sit down with us and share some of his smart, no-holds-barred love advice.

Q. On your new daytime talk show The Greg Behrendt Show, you give women dating advice. What do you think is the biggest mistake women make when it comes to men?

I think that sometimes women have us pegged wrong. In working with couples, I’m very surprised at how often it’s the guys who are a little more eager to work on things. So I think sometimes men just get painted into a box that they’re not necessarily in, and I would love to be able to bring the two sexes together on the show and say, “This is how men really are. This is the way we think women are. Now let’s look at that and start dealing with each other the way we really are.”

Q. You’re happily married now, but in the days that you were single, were you ever dumped? How did you react?

Well, when I wasn’t sober, not as well! But, you know, the same way that most people would. I mean that’s why my wife Amiira and I wrote It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken, because I did all the things wrong that you do during a breakup, and that’s why I know. And trust me, this book would have been for both genders if publishers would have believed in us and said, “This should also be written for men,” but men don’t buy break-up books. They get drunk, stand on your lawn, and then the cop comes!

Q: What would you say is the most memorable breakup you’ve ever experienced?

I have a true story about being broken up with by a woman I didn’t know! It happened in 1999: I picked up the phone and a woman said “Greg?” And I said “Yes” because that’s my name. And she said to me, “I don’t like you, and I don’t ever want to see you again.” And I wasn’t going out with someone at that point. So I said, “Uh, OK,” because it seemed like at that point it was too late to say, “Who is this?” Then she slammed the phone down!

Q. Men seem to be endlessly confused about what women want. What do you think the answer is?

For one, women don’t want us to be like them. They asked us for a while to do it and we all bought purses and they laughed at us. Women told us to cry and we did and they said stop and we did. I think what women want to know is that we’re listening. I found that out with my wife. It’s like, she wants to tell the whole story from the beginning all way to the end. She doesn’t need my advice in the middle. In fact, it would be fine if I just kept my mouth shut and then let her finish it, and then we could talk later or maybe she doesn’t even want to chat about it. She just wants to get it out.

Q. And what do you think men want?

I think men also truly want to be understood a little bit better and be who we are. There’s just some days where I think women ask for things and I go, “You’re just not going to get that from him. It’s not what he’s made of.”

Q: Do you think men maybe just aren’t as good at relationships?

What men have a tendency to not do is be focused and honest. They have a tendency to go, “Ah, I don’t really want to break it off because she might get upset.” And it’s like, “Dude, man up.” That’s what I tell guys: Be the man of the relationship. And being the man means being honest and just saying things like, “You know what, I’m not loving where our relationship is going right now and I’m feeling bad about it and I want to change it” as opposed to drifting off, not calling you, giving you excuses, thinking about cheating and then bailing.

Q: How do men feel when they’re in love?

We’re not psyched always. I remember when I first fell in love with my wife I was like, “Oh, God, not this. This is the worst,” because I was out of control and wanted to spend all my time with her.

Q. So given that’s the case, what’s a gal to do if she wants to settle down?

I think the reason men are the way they are is because they’ve been getting away with it for years and that’s just the way we’ve been allowed to be. I think people are afraid to raise the bar because then they’re like, now what? What if I don’t get what I want? Yeah, but what if you do? I bet what you get is awesome and better than what you thought you were going to get.

Entertainment editor and journalist Susan L. Hornik is based in Los Angeles.